My hand turned me down
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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