Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
