i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
