She's JV to your varsity
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
