Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
