After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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