My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How's work?
Spinning.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
