I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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