yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
