you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize