it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize