You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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