dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
