You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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