I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize