Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
