Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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