Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
