And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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