Whod you bang
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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