Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
