Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
