We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
