My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
