I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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