on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We were destined to go to rehab together
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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