I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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