How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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