My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i think im in europe. pls send help
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