East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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