her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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