Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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