I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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