I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize