Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
