Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
