The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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