David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You may now shotgun with the bride
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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