So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Say something about gay babies.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
