She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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