Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
