i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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