im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
