Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
