he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
