guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
