the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
