It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
