i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
