I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
