Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm always down for nudity.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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