thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
