we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
