that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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