Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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