I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
