i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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