I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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