Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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