How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
