It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
