No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
