Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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